"Bedazzling business"? Whoa, nellie! You mean Mrs Davenport could get vajazzled by a K-Ford? Wow! (.... it's getting a bit hot in here, or is it me?) I'd better tell la mamasita to make an appointment.

OK, since we're considering the movie version, how about this: Rob Ford's death was a fake. He needed time to recover, away from the prying eyes of the media, to spend time with his beloved family -- and to make way for Doug. As Diane put it, "it's Dougie's turn", and it was her idea in the...

^ It's the Toronto he left us with, whether he's living or not.

Renata's maiden name is Brejniak. That's pronounced "Brainiac", correct?

It's all about getting out the vote, so if Doug can deliver, he'll be in a PCPO seat. Sometimes you have to, you know, give folks a lift to the polling station. On a bus, maybe a few pops to relax and cool off. Get the white line fever and get out on the road. Bring home the bacon. We all know...

Good Christ on a Stick! Didjas see that Outpouring of Grief from the Folks of the Gee Tea Eh? (BTW, were there any EPA problems with a cremation?) With all the Trumpism south of the border, this here notion of the Nation ain't leaving us soon. Let's see how Doug tries to get a leg up/leg...

...offering Purple Jesus + $60 (VRT)

Perhaps the RoFo Memorial Pissoir? Edmonton apparently is installing them to combat public urination ... https://ward2guelph.wordpress.com/2009/06/30/edmontons-pissoir-project/

Apologies for the accent, as this was borrowed from the Australian series "Housos" about some characters living in public housing. Kev The Kiwi ought to be wearing a suit from Moores, but otherwise imagine this as a routine TCHC "constituent visit" by Rofo and Sandro Lisi... Housos Junkies Bashing:

Good, but maybe we could do better? These are all synonyms for "drunk", no? Something more political or idiosyncratic?

What's the definition of "santorum"? (Google it.) Could we similarly coin the neologism "robford" or "Rofo"? For example the phrase "we could just YOLO it". Noun or verb?

If Doug is as interested in politics as he claims, and can demonstrate some patience, he could generate some interest if he takes a run at federal PC leadership. Why? Because there aren't enough Red Tories left to push the Cons back into the "natural Canadian middle" (thank you PoliSci 101), and...

My bet is that his council bidnis is done. He might show up again for a round of applause. He'll be photographed in a hospital bed "reviewing expenses", likely by The Sun. But that's it. By rights, there would be a popcorn-worthy citywide bender, but physically I don't think he's up to it. Pass...

That's doing the irony, isn't it? Consider what ol' dad was doing at the same age.

As for Sandwich Gate, nobody gives Rob the Mayo' due credit for delivering on Subways, Subways, Subways. It wasn't anybody from Deco. Or Uncle Sandro. Just sayin'.

Would the Ford Nation base vote for a woman? Maybe the Ford message comes across better from a cranky old man? Mind you, none of Doug's Ks pose like they want the job. (None pose like they want any job, really. Shopping doesn't count.) ETA: Actually, would *you* want a daily chewing out from...

Typezed, there are some times when you just nail it, and this is one of them. Ew yuck an' all, but wearing my FoFam glasses that idea makes too much sense. Maybe the Fords' continuing media popularity can be explained because the viewing public knows something we don't: the story narrative has...

Erm, didn't our old friend Casita point out that as a city employee, Rofo's life insurance policy was posted pretty good? It might not be about taking care of his kkids and Renata, but keeping Doug's mitts off it.

How about we stop pussyfooting around and go straight to a reality teevee show? If anyone gives them a proposal, maybe the Ffords won't knock it back this time? :) If he's lucky, one of the Kardashians will make a cameo. And Doug can take that all the way to the FN bank.