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Jodiezed

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Jason's drone shots (along with Koops' and Steveve's renderings) were the main reason I would log onto UT. I always hoped I would encounter him someday in drone mode. I was thrilled when he posted pics taken above my street. I never met him but I appreciated his work greatly. He was a legend on this forum.
Yes he brought his drone everywhere. He texted me a pic of myself sitting by my pool from the sky and I jumped up thrilled he had been spying on me from my driveway lol Thank you for your kind words.
 

Jodiezed

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I am really sad to hear this news. I reached out to Jason when I was contemplating moving to Mississauga to ask him some questions. He wrote back and answered all my questions. I was hoping to give him the good news I bought a place and was going to be a neighbour. I’ll miss his photos and his positive contribution to this forum and especially the Mississauga area. RIP
Jason was always thrilled to answer peoples questions on this site. He was so committed to this family. Thank you
 

Bjays92

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Please do not feel guilt ridden as you and others did your best to help him, but in the end it was his chose to do it. This also applies to other reading this. This will help you and others. <https://suicidology.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/SOS_handbook.pdf>
I want to follow this up and share a little more of what happened with me and my experiences.

I have struggled with mental health for years and have almost taken my life on several occasions, I was always the person who had difficulties, and my brother was this happy incredibly bright young man. He had even started his own business at the age of 15!

No one in my family had any idea he was struggling with mental health issues. Period full stop. He took his own life on an evening in October when we were all at home in the house, even that day there wasn't a single sign, he was totally normal, grabbed some ice cream sometime after dinner and that was the last we saw of him. My mom found him when she went to say goodnight.

I share this because our natural inclination was what did we do wrong? How did we not notice? Were we neglectful etc. It's hard but you cannot allow that to dominate your thinking, because none of those things were true. My brother was a kid who was loved more than anything in the world and had so much to look forward to. He was opening his flagship retail store in a few days and his birthday was a week away. He went Christmas shopping with my mom the morning of.

Now obviously some people knew Jason struggled but at the end of the day, knowing like people did, or not knowing like my family did. Nothing can change what happened as tragic as it is and it is a decision that the individual made, while being influenced by an absolutely horrible illness.

That choice is not something you can take on yourself, the pain and the grief is enough, finding a way to absolve yourself of guilt is incredibly important.

As someone who has nearly taken their own life, and in fact was in many ways saved by my brother, it breaks me to know i never had the chance to return the favour, but i know he didn't mean to hurt anyone and he wouldn't want to inflict pain, much less guilt and all these other emotions on us.

So I hope you can come to a place where you find some amount of peace with what's happened. Life will never be the same again and that's ok, it shouldn't ever be the same. But finding a place of peace where you are free from guilt, while still allowing room for a heavy heart filled with sadness is so so important.

(I've written and rewritten this several times, anything like this is so hard to discuss and talk about and I'm always afraid to say something wrong, but I think this is such an important topic and so I am just sending this message as is, because it doesn't need to be written perfectly to still be impactful :)
 

khaldoon

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I want to follow this up and share a little more of what happened with me and my experiences.

I have struggled with mental health for years and have almost taken my life on several occasions, I was always the person who had difficulties, and my brother was this happy incredibly bright young man. He had even started his own business at the age of 15!

No one in my family had any idea he was struggling with mental health issues. Period full stop. He took his own life on an evening in October when we were all at home in the house, even that day there wasn't a single sign, he was totally normal, grabbed some ice cream sometime after dinner and that was the last we saw of him. My mom found him when she went to say goodnight.

I share this because our natural inclination was what did we do wrong? How did we not notice? Were we neglectful etc. It's hard but you cannot allow that to dominate your thinking, because none of those things were true. My brother was a kid who was loved more than anything in the world and had so much to look forward to. He was opening his flagship retail store in a few days and his birthday was a week away. He went Christmas shopping with my mom the morning of.

Now obviously some people knew Jason struggled but at the end of the day, knowing like people did, or not knowing like my family did. Nothing can change what happened as tragic as it is and it is a decision that the individual made, while being influenced by an absolutely horrible illness.

That choice is not something you can take on yourself, the pain and the grief is enough, finding a way to absolve yourself of guilt is incredibly important.

As someone who has nearly taken their own life, and in fact was in many ways saved by my brother, it breaks me to know i never had the chance to return the favour, but i know he didn't mean to hurt anyone and he wouldn't want to inflict pain, much less guilt and all these other emotions on us.

So I hope you can come to a place where you find some amount of peace with what's happened. Life will never be the same again and that's ok, it shouldn't ever be the same. But finding a place of peace where you are free from guilt, while still allowing room for a heavy heart filled with sadness is so so important.

(I've written and rewritten this several times, anything like this is so hard to discuss and talk about and I'm always afraid to say something wrong, but I think this is such an important topic and so I am just sending this message as is, because it doesn't need to be written perfectly to still be impactful :)
Thanks for sharing. You have expressed the issue in very simple terms yet still conveyed how incredibly complex and intricate human emotions/behaviour is.
 

cc46

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Very sad to read this. I appreciated his photos, skillful thoughtful, always a unique view.
Never knew him personally. His photos live on here UT, cheers.
 

Justatorontonian

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A beautifully worded post in honour of a dear friend. Never knew Jason personally, but I have complete faith that this community (despite all its quibbling) will carry on his legacy of documenting and commenting on how fast this amazing city is growing. Much love to all
 

Lake Ontario

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Jason's contributions were a great staple to UrbanToronto with his drone shots and insight on upcoming Mississauga projects. There's truly a void without him around on the site.

It's very unfortunate to hear that Jason was going through this for some time. My condolences to his friends and family. Rest easy, Jason.
 

Jodiezed

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Jason's contributions were a great staple to UrbanToronto with his drone shots and insight on upcoming Mississauga projects. There's truly a void without him around on the site.

It's very unfortunate to hear that Jason was going through this for some time. My condolences to his friends and family. Rest easy, Jason.
Hello.. Yes this all seem to start five years ago but after a year of physical pain he pulled through and resumed a full life... travel, droning, work, hockey both ice and ball! He may be upset with me for sharing but I needed to share and talk!!! People need to seek help or recognize in others. This was such a shock but I couldn't hide it! Then it would have all been for not!
 

Jodiezed

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Horrible news. He sounded like an amazing person @Jodiezed. Thanks for letting us know a little bit more about him—my thoughts are with you.
He was indeed a great person. Loved his friends and family and really a generous kind soul. How this all happened so fast, is still so shocking. Thank you for your kind words.
 
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Jodiezed

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A beautifully worded post in honour of a dear friend. Never knew Jason personally, but I have complete faith that this community (despite all its quibbling) will carry on his legacy of documenting and commenting on how fast this amazing city is growing. Much love to all
Thank you for commenting on the post. I was asked to write in while still quite emotional and in a short period of time. I hesitated to write about what happened as I don't want his life to be overshadowed by his death. He was a great kind hearted soul and very physically healthy. Something reared its ugly head a few months ago and isolation/covid did not help....and all was just a shock thereafter. It touches my heart to know that many people are also suffering and that hopefully our story can and will help others... even prevent harm or injuires in others. Take care
 

Jodiezed

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I want to follow this up and share a little more of what happened with me and my experiences.

I have struggled with mental health for years and have almost taken my life on several occasions, I was always the person who had difficulties, and my brother was this happy incredibly bright young man. He had even started his own business at the age of 15!

No one in my family had any idea he was struggling with mental health issues. Period full stop. He took his own life on an evening in October when we were all at home in the house, even that day there wasn't a single sign, he was totally normal, grabbed some ice cream sometime after dinner and that was the last we saw of him. My mom found him when she went to say goodnight.

I share this because our natural inclination was what did we do wrong? How did we not notice? Were we neglectful etc. It's hard but you cannot allow that to dominate your thinking, because none of those things were true. My brother was a kid who was loved more than anything in the world and had so much to look forward to. He was opening his flagship retail store in a few days and his birthday was a week away. He went Christmas shopping with my mom the morning of.

Now obviously some people knew Jason struggled but at the end of the day, knowing like people did, or not knowing like my family did. Nothing can change what happened as tragic as it is and it is a decision that the individual made, while being influenced by an absolutely horrible illness.

That choice is not something you can take on yourself, the pain and the grief is enough, finding a way to absolve yourself of guilt is incredibly important.

As someone who has nearly taken their own life, and in fact was in many ways saved by my brother, it breaks me to know i never had the chance to return the favour, but i know he didn't mean to hurt anyone and he wouldn't want to inflict pain, much less guilt and all these other emotions on us.

So I hope you can come to a place where you find some amount of peace with what's happened. Life will never be the same again and that's ok, it shouldn't ever be the same. But finding a place of peace where you are free from guilt, while still allowing room for a heavy heart filled with sadness is so so important.

(I've written and rewritten this several times, anything like this is so hard to discuss and talk about and I'm always afraid to say something wrong, but I think this is such an important topic and so I am just sending this message as is, because it doesn't need to be written perfectly to still be impactful :)
Thank you so so so much for sharing your hardships and successes. It takes courage to speak out. This illness should never leave anyone feeling stigmatized or lonely. Jason was an awesome man and had accomplished so much success, happiness, admiration.... I don't know how mental health and or illness can shift so dramatically over a short period of time but to read other posts I am grateful I shared his love successes and despair. I truly hope he is remembered as a ray of hope and I will look into archiving his work. You can email me directly at kjodiezedd@gmail.com if it doesn't appear on the site.
 

ceaz40

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Dear Jodie,

I have been a member on here since 2000. I have rarely posted in 21 years as I am not in the know for development in the city as per details...I read it every day to inform myself from those who are far more knowledgeable. Today, I have to post. I’ve learned so much from the wonderful people on here. Your brother was one of those people. Where others posted the info I wanted to know, Jason provided me with the visuals that captured that in all the stunning glory only his creative mind and keen eye could capture. When I read of his passing, I wanted to find comfort in reviewing all I think it was 157 pages of photos and videos. Astounding legacy! He won’t be equaled! His work is unparalleled on this, my favourite website. I’ve been from the dark side of depression/anxiety/panic attacks to the happy side. It breaks my heart to know that he came through too, but covid took him back. Covid has been challenging for everyone, but it’s important to reach out to those more vulnerable to its insidious mental/emotional effects. I have been doing that for others because I’ve weathered this longer than most. I had life threatening surgery in Feb last year, but had to be locked down to prepare since Nov 2019. Yes, I’ve been in lockdown 18 months. It’s been difficult at times, but I remain an optimist that we can get through it. I semi-retired last June. I was a teacher, but I guess I still am as I was recalled in October to supply teach. I worked every day that schools were actually open as there was such a need. I had every intention to contact Jason and introduce myself. I bought an SLR camera and some fancy lenses for it. He was tech and media savvy....I’m not. I was going to ask him if I could pay him for lessons on how to use it and go out and take pics to post on here. I wish I had done that. in closing, I had a soft spot for him because his handle was Jasonzed. My last name starts with a zed and my students called me Mr. Zed. There are very few zed names around. We were always the last in class to be called upon. I wish you all the comfort, love, and healing in time. I can tell from your responses on here that he was so very blessed to have such a loving and caring sister. And though the time should have been longer, you were also blessed to have him. I wish I knew him personally and my regret about that will always be there, but I feel blessed by pseudo knowing him through our mutual love of the GTA and the amazing work he shared with people like me.

My deepest condolences to all of your family.
 

The Preservationist

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Very sad to hear of Jason's passing. Always appreciated his lofty pictures of the city and the effort he put into getting the perfect shot regardless of weather or time of year. This site will be smaller without him.
 

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