[cacruden]

Man Reduces Carbon Footprint By Dying Young

SOUTHAMPTON –Spencer Atkinson, fatally struck by a bus at the age of 43, would be happy to know that his untimely death reduced his carbon footprint by 120%, his wife Janice told friends on the eve of his funeral.

...

Environmentalists have come to the realization that the only way to really reduce your "carbon footprint" is by dying young. The younger you die, the smaller your carbon footprint is. Environmentalists plan to lobby government to give tax credits to those people that manage to die young....

 

[hbl33]

W...
T...
F?!!?

Is this what they are doing to proclaim themselves the Eco-Apostles?!!?

 

[gristle]

Makes you wonder how Green Party policies evolve in the near future.

 

[afransen]

How do you reduce your carbon footprint by 120%? Is he now absorbing carbon?

 

[gristle]

He's holding his breath. That way he'll die young.

 

[that_girl_there]

lol

Now that Atkinson will never turn on another light, scientists estimate that his carbon footprint will be at least half that of a man who completed a typical lifespan.

Scientists took the time to predict this?

 

[gristle]

Honestly, I didn't read the article until now. Sounds like his wife is kind of glad he's gone. No more moralizing about the TV and the AC.

And he was killed by mass transit no less!