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TOBorn said:
Compassion is generally for people who, through no fault of their own, are suffering. Rob Ford's situation is unfortunate, but entirely of his own making. That said, I do feel badly that his upbringing has brought him to this point of self-destruction. His home life, in his formative years, must have been truly awful.
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Sorry to quibble, but compassion is also fair for those whose problems are partly not at all their fault and partly self-inflicted, no?

That said, my compassion for how tough it is for Rob Ford to continue to be mayor while so much crap is raining down on him is precisely zero. Admit you have been terrible, get off the political stage, and honestly ask for help, then even people who really hated you as mayor might have some empathy. I am not holding my breath waiting for that moment of honesty.
 
Friend of a friend posted this to FB. Privacy settings are public, so I figure it's ok to post here.

Original post (with the selfie)

35 Surprising Things About a Selfie With Rob Ford

1. I was just trying to go to the bathroom.

2. His normal voice in public is not the same shouting, belligerent tone you see in his videos.

3. It makes encountering him a very dissonant experience.

4. He does not look you in the eye.

5. He’s extremely uncomfortable in his own skin.

6. He flinches every time a pretty girl nuzzles up close to him for a photo.

7. The idea that most young people think he’s “cool” or a celebrity is bullshit.

8. Most people walking away from him are laughing at, not with, him.

9. I heard the words “train wreck” a lot.

10. There is nobody around him, protecting him. I didn’t see a body man.

11. A photograph encompasses about 1/2 second of time.

12. 90% of people around him take their photo & bolt.

13. Very few express “support” as in “intention to vote.”

14. Up close, his glassy eyes look like Pot + something else.

15. Idle chatter: many people going in say they’re going to say something nasty to him.

16. Very few do.

17. What I wanted to say: “You bring shame to the city.”

18. What I really said, “Good luck, you’re gonna need it.”

19. I’m pretty sure he didn’t hear me — or many other people. It’s cacophonous around him, all the time.

20. Thing I heard three separate women say: “Where’s your wife?”

21. The look on his face reminds me of a trapped animal.

22. I’m not kidding about 13. On a recent cross-country drive, I came across a badger on the side of the highway, mortally wounded. I “finished him off” with an ice scraper from my car. I threw up afterwards.

23. As I took my selfie with Rob Ford I flashed on that memory. I managed to not throw up this time, but felt for five minutes like I was going to.

24. I came really, really close to deleting my RF selfie, and I’m pretty sure I posted it hoping to get “shame on you” comments. Can you tell I was raised Catholic?

25. I wish I’d been able to say “shame on you” to him, but something human stopped me, because…

26. I never expected the scene around him, with him, the entire vibe of him to be so COMPLETELY FUCKING SAD.

27. He is definitely the child who can’t differentiate the good kind of attention from the bad kind of attention.

28. The whole experience was nothing like I thought it would be.

29. I don’t feel sorry for Rob Ford, but I honestly think he doesn’t see a way out.

30. I have never seen someone who is so alone surrounded by so many people.

31. Witnessing the whole thing up close supercharges my contempt for his evil brother and awful mother. Either one could have ended this a long time ago.

32. I fear the end is coming soon, and we all know how it’s going to end.

33. I think he knows it too.

34. I flew back from L.A. to vote against him in 2010.

35. In 2014 I spent one second with him and enabled him. And I’m just not sure where to put that.
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CalgarianExOntarian said:
Sorry to quibble, but compassion is also fair for those whose problems are partly not at all their fault and partly self-inflicted, no?

That said, my compassion for how tough it is for Rob Ford to continue to be mayor while so much crap is raining down on him is precisely zero. Admit you have been terrible, get off the political stage, and honestly ask for help, then even people who really hated you as mayor might have some empathy. I am not holding my breath waiting for that moment of honesty.
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Yes, compassion is like metta, or loving kindness. If you have evolved your consciousness to a great degree, and opened your heart, you can feel compassion for every and anyone, including mass murderers or dumb rich forty year old frat boys.
It comes from understanding the pain of feeling separate, disconnected and alone, which predicates behaviour that causes harm. We have all felt that pain to varying degrees, and, as such, we are all connected. Someone who can feel compassion for Rob Ford will know that we are all flawed and have loving kindness for that flawed man being the f*&ck up that he is.
But that does not mean that RF's transgressions are dismissed or overlooked.
Depictions/sculptures of the buddha often have one pointed to his heart. But the other hand is pointing out, palm up. That is to say "stop right there', and reinforcing good boundaries.
A person who is aware of right and wrong has the responsibility to call other flawed humans on their behaviour when it is harmful...in a loving kindness kind of way. :)
Btw, I am not saying that I have compassion for RF. I struggle with not thinking he is a scumbag every day! But I understand the direction that I would like to go.
 
newearthling said:
Yes, compassion is like metta, or loving kindness. If you have evolved your consciousness to a great degree, and opened your heart, you can feel compassion for every and anyone, including mass murderers or dumb rich forty year old frat boys.
It comes from understanding the pain of feeling separate, disconnected and alone, which predicates behaviour that causes harm. We have all felt that pain to varying degrees, and, as such, we are all connected. Someone who can feel compassion for Rob Ford will know that we are all flawed and have loving kindness for that flawed man being the f*&ck up that he is.
But that does not mean that RF's transgressions are dismissed or overlooked.
Depictions/sculptures of the buddha often have one pointed to his heart. But the other hand is pointing out, palm up. That is to say "stop right there', and reinforcing good boundaries.
A person who is aware of right and wrong has the responsibility to call other flawed humans on their behaviour when it is harmful...in a loving kindness kind of way. :)
Btw, I am not saying that I have compassion for RF. I struggle with not thinking he is a scumbag every day! But I understand the direction that I would like to go.
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Love this post.
Empathy mixed with a bit of confusion about why I should give a flip describes my feelings at this point. I have no similar empathy for his unredeemable brother or his cold, ambitious mother.
 
Well said, newearthling and kensingtoncat.

I'm not a religious person, but I do remember my mother telling me when I got mad, "You must forgive others, for He forgave you." ( She still does, in fact. )

That's easier said than done, but I try! :D
 
CalgarianExOntarian said:
Sorry to quibble, but compassion is also fair for those whose problems are partly not at all their fault and partly self-inflicted, no?

That said, my compassion for how tough it is for Rob Ford to continue to be mayor while so much crap is raining down on him is precisely zero. Admit you have been terrible, get off the political stage, and honestly ask for help, then even people who really hated you as mayor might have some empathy. I am not holding my breath waiting for that moment of honesty.
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True, true.
 
anne said:
Love this post.
Empathy mixed with a bit of confusion about why I should give a flip describes my feelings at this point. I have no similar empathy for his unredeemable brother or his cold, ambitious mother.
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If Rob showed a shred of remorse for anything he has done, I might feel something like empathy. However, after he put on the Rhino parade a couple of weeks ago in which he knocked a cameraman down, after he went up to Pam McConnell and freaked her out and also used some derogatory words to her, after the comments to Adam Vaughan a few days ago insinuating he was a bad father because he's divorced, after seeing him push yet another photographer a few days ago because he was "in his way", he hasn't earned it.
 
EagleEye said:
If Rob showed a shred of remorse for anything he has done, I might feel something like empathy. However, after he put on the Rhino parade a couple of weeks ago in which he knocked a cameraman down, after he went up to Pam McConnell and freaked her out and also used some derogatory words to her, after the comments to Adam Vaughan a few days ago insinuating he was a bad father because he's divorced, after seeing him push yet another photographer a few days ago because he was "in his way", he hasn't earned it.
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That is the thing though. Compassion is not earned. Compassion comes from you...or not. Compassion really has not as much to do with the object of said compassion. It is all about the feelings of the subject (you in this case, or me, or anyone). Compassion comes from having an open heart, and a sense that we are all connected on some level.

There is a Mayan greeting: In Lak'ech: I am another yourself.
That we can recognize ourselves in others helps to develop compassion.

I am not saying that we all should have compassion for RF. People will feel what they will. But it is not about Rob Ford deserving it. It is about whether we are able to generate it in our hearts.
 
EagleEye said:
If Rob showed a shred of remorse for anything he has done, I might feel something like empathy. However, after he put on the Rhino parade a couple of weeks ago in which he knocked a cameraman down, after he went up to Pam McConnell and freaked her out and also used some derogatory words to her, after the comments to Adam Vaughan a few days ago insinuating he was a bad father because he's divorced, after seeing him push yet another photographer a few days ago because he was "in his way", he hasn't earned it.
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That's sort of where I am. Any time any shred of compassion for him starts to build up (and there have been times it has...) he does something despicable, and it evaporates.
 
VintagePunk said:
That's sort of where I am. Any time any shred of compassion for him starts to build up (and there have been times it has...) he does something despicable, and it evaporates.
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Yep, me too. If the guy would like respect, help, understanding, a step back from total revulsion, whatever, the first step for him is to stop (figuratively) punching people in the face, both one at a time through inexplicable personal interactions, and thousands to millions at a time just about every time he makes the news.
 
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