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I've secretly fantasized about running for mayor on a "Hyperbole" platform as a "better" version of Ford for ford nation just to point out how ridiculous his claims are.

Stuff like:

- Folks, Rob's only saved you a billion dollars... I'll save you a TRILLION!
- and screw subways, and screw traffic gridlock. With me as your mayor, you'll all get helicopters to fly you to and fro. It's all about helicopters folks, Helicopters, helicopters, helicopters!
- I've spoken to the private sector, and they're just chomping at the bit to pay for your helicopters.
- While I'm at it you're all gettin' cranes too. The sky will be filled with cranes and helicopters!
- I have a proven track record of delivering on all of my promises, and those of others!
- I'll clean up the mess that Rob's left at City Hall. You'll never pay taxes again!
- I'm not going to contract out your garbage collection, I'm gonna make those lazy garbage workers pay for their strikes and make em work like Asian dogs!
- I'll cancel the pride parade and drive every LGBTQWERTY out of town! Minorities too!
- I know how to run a business cuz my dad started a business and gave me an office to sit in with a desk and everything.
- I answer all of my phone calls, and I'll drive right over to your house to flush the toilet if that's what you need doing... even if I'm drunk off my ass, which I often am, I'll still drive over there! I'll even read the newspaper, and flip off every kid I see on the way.
- When I get home, I'll beat my whole family to a bloody pulp! Cuz I'm an every man.
- They don't have enough cops to follow me around. Much less my drug dealer!

Please note that the above is my interpretation of what Ford Nation wants and not in any way my real opinion on civic matters.

This is pure brilliance! You should create a fake 'campaign' blog, perhaps for 'John Ford', and have this as your platform!
 
Ugh, it is so sad that we all know his tell when he's drunk. Why do we know that he sweats there when he's super intoxicated? This isn't something you should know about your Mayor, yet we pretty much all know it.
 
Was it a fifth-floor window?

About that.

Interesting thing. I read this book about a year ago. The sad part is the author, a fairly young and healthy guy apparently, was with his girlfriend, hit "SEND" ( as he finished the last page ) to his publisher, and then dropped dead. Just like that she said!
http://www.amazon.com/Canary-Sang-b...=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1396061428&sr=1-1

It guess that's on topic because the big thing with Reles was what the police needed the most, "a corroborating witness" to multiple crimes. And the risk it put him in.
 
Ugh, it is so sad that we all know his tell when he's drunk. Why do we know that he sweats there when he's super intoxicated? This isn't something you should know about your Mayor, yet we pretty much all know it.
Plus the bright red shiny face and pissholes for eyes.

Every time I see him like that I hear the thump thump of a failing heartbeat.
 
Another thing I've noticed that Ford does whenever he's in council or otherwise in a place where he can't "get well", he always uses two hands to grab his coffee, or non alcoholic beverage. I've seen him do it a lot, especially in council meetings. It's a practiced move for someone prone to the shakes. It's to the point now that he does it out of habit.

Like this

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1575078/thumbs/o-ROB-FORD-facebook.jpg
 
If Ford says he's clean and sober, it just means he just had a shower and he's heading to the LCBO....
 
Looks to me like sweat around his left bosom, which for some reason seems to happen to him when he's drunk or on something.

I hereby enact a full-scale moratorium, the violation of which is punishable by death, upon any further mentions of the mayor's bosom.

Also, I guess you're perfect and never had your "bosom" sweat after a few drinks?

(I acknowledge the "Maybe you're perfect" gag is an easy one, but I'm not tired of it. Maybe you're perfect and never beat a good job into the ground but I'm just doing what the people want me to do.)
 
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